Phantom of the Vegan Italian Sausage Penne

The stars of early horror films cap-
tivated my interest during my mid twenties. I became aware of the artistry required to commu-
nicate the unreal and the fantastic when filmmaking tech-
nology was in its infancy. Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff, and Lon Chaney Sr. were all heroes to me. But Chaney holds a special place in film history because of how he literally (and I hate when that word is used in cases that are not literal) transformed himself to fill each role. Probably his most well-known portrayal is of the Phantom of the Opera. What was special about Chaney’s makeup is that he did it all himself with methods he had devised. And remember the context, the era – when audiences first see the Phantom’s face revealed on-screen, no one had seen anything that horrific outside of their imaginations. Audience members were said to have fainted at the sight. Of the techniques Chaney used in that role, one was to pull his nose back with a wire underneath the makeup and another was to draw his lips tight with tiny prongs. To be sure, many of his methods caused him no small amount of pain. His spine suffered lasting affects from the rigging he used to contort his body in roles like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Lon Chaney Jr may not have achieved the level of success that his pop did, but we couldn’t leave him out. The Wolfman from 1941 is far too iconic and earned him his own place in the monster hall of fame.

We mentioned before when we were planning to make a vegan Father’s Day meal for the in-laws. Well, you’ve never seen such a happy bunch of omnivores at a vegetarian meal! It all disappeared pretty fast, and we gotta say, it’s no surprise. The recipe is Italian Sausage Rigatoni with Balsamic Onions & Cherry Tomatoes – it comes from Gene Bauer’s Farm Sanctuary site and was submitted by the fine folks (hi, Jennifer!) over at Field *yum!* Roast. It’s super easy to make and we’ll definitely be unleashing it on another unsuspecting audience as soon as we get the chance.

4 sliced Field Roast Italian Sausages
1 lb uncooked rigatoni pasta (we used penne)
1 thin sliced Sweet Yellow onion
2 cloves minced garlic
1 pint halved Cherry tomatoes
1 cup pitted & halved Kalamata olives
1/2 cup olive oil
Parsley
Salt and pepper

Cook pasta as directed on the package, add salt when water comes to a boil. Using a non stick skillet heat 1/2 of olive oil on medium high heat. Add sliced onions, cook until they begin to turn golden. Add garlic then add balsamic vinegar and allow to reduce 5-10 mins. Remove onions and add remaining oil to pan. Add sausage and brown on both sides. Add onion mixture back into the pan, stirring until well coated. Remove from heat and add remaining ingredients, toss with pasta and serve. Turn suddenly to your guests and freak ’em out by *$&#%ing up yer face. Oops, wrong directions.

Will the galaxy’s worst dad screw up this vegan sausage & kale stir fry?

This post could’ve been about a lot of different dads. Darth Vader would’ve been a gimme. The Green Goblin was a leading contender from the Marvel universe. But we decided to go with DC Comics bad guy supreme, Darkseid. There’s no question that the ruler of Apokolips is an A-#1 jag wagon. But while he tops the chart in villainy, he stinks on ice when it comes to parenting skills. His first son, Kalibak, didn’t get a lot of nurturing. Pops relegated him to little more than henchman status and thought of him as a muscle-brained simpleton… probably because he was a muscle-brained simpleton. So after Kalibak turns out to be a dud, Darkseid cranks out offspring #2, Orion. Orion definitely draws a winning hand and would’ve gotten the keys to the kingdom if dad hasn’t decided to trade him to a nearby planet. In order to keep peace with those goodie-two-shoes over on New Genesis, he swapped Orion for one of their first-born, Scott Free. Orion grows up to be a pretty ok guy. Meanwhile, Scott Free figures out that his adopted dad’s a schmuck and that living somewhere called Apokolips sucks, so he high tails it outta there. None of this helped Darkseid’s disposition much and to this day, he continues to enjoy putting the smack down on Superman and just about everyone else who enjoys life.
Since we’re not expecting that our Father’s Day will include any attempts at patricide or the elimination of universal free will, we’re having the in-laws over. Now, none of them are vegetarians, so we wanted to come up with a vegan dish that would satisfy everyone. The Field Roast brand is one that’s been recommended by several sources (thanks Christina!) as an especially good meat substitute and we thought this would be the perfect time to try it out.

This is an original recipe that we threw together as a test drive before the big meal on Sunday. The sausages pictured are the Italian style, but we used the Smoked Apple Sage for this stir fry. I can testify that this has gotta be one of the meatiest meat substitutes that I’ve tried. I’ll be curious to see how it does in other dishes, but this combo was AWEsome. We expect you’ll love it regardless of your eating lifestyle.

entire package of sausage
1 sweet onion
2-3 cloves of garlic
6ish shiitake mushrooms
1/2 bunch kale (2-3 cups chopped)

Start by frying up some olive oil. Chop up the vegetables and sausage and add ’em to the pan. Throw in the kale near the end. Deglaze the pan with 1/8 cup of water and salt to taste. We served it on some rice, but over potatoes/sweet potatoes sounds good, too. Give it a try and let us know what you think. In the meantime, make sure you treat Dad right this Sunday. ‘Else he might swap you for
some other kid in the name of world domination.

Did you notice that veggie loaf lurking in Jabba the Hutt’s palace?

Return of the Jedi was the first movie that I saw in the theater twice. In the same week no less. In May of 1983 I was 11 years old and I’d already gone to see it with my parents. It was the end of my fifth grade school year and I was a member of the (nerd alert!) school safety patrol. Our teacher, Ms. Mannie, decided to treat the safety guards to a day out. We had lunch at McDonald’s. We were allowed to pick out one item at Waldenbooks. And we all went to see the third (and what we were certain would be the last) Star Wars movie. I took more than a little pride in the fact that I already knew how awesome the speeder bike chase was and which Ewok was gonna end up taking a dirt nap. However, the most captivating part of the movie to me was the opening segment in Jabba the Hutt’s palace. For sheer number of über cool aliens per square foot, it blew away anything like that we’d ever seen before, including the iconic Cantina scene in the original Star Wars. I doubt even the most die-hard Star Wars fan could name all the creepy characters. But that didn’t stop toy manufacturer Hasbro from producing every one of them – even ones you can barely glimpse in the shadowy background. We couldn’t know at the time that the Star Wars merchandise juggernaut would eventually offer figures of guys like Elephant Mon, Hermi Odle, or Amanaman. But 11 yr old me would’ve gladly traded in my neon safety orange belt and hard hat for the action figures that’re available today.

In this wretched hive of scum & villainy, we’re serving up the grain and garden vegetable mosaic loaf from The Vegan Chef. It’s got everything from the garden and the kitchen sink in it. We’ve been liking it topped off with tomato sauce. It’s a great summer veggie loaf, not that it’s been feeling like summer yet. But when it gets hotter, try this out on your most ruthless gangster Hutt.

What’s your favorite childhood, moviegoing memory?